Agriculture has a way of teaching us to keep going.
There is always another fence to fix, another field to check, another calf to tend to, another bill to pay and another season already coming at us before the last one is finished. Farmers and ranchers are problem solvers by nature.
We are fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, neighbors and friends. We are doers. We are fixers. We are used to being counted on.
But too often, we carry burdens on our shoulders that most people never see.
June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and for many of us, especially men in agriculture, mental health can be hard to talk about. A longtime friend from Missouri’s Bootheel recently reminded me of a saying that has stayed with me: “Nothing is as good as it seems. Nothing is as bad as you think.”
There is a lot of truth in that.
In moments of stress, discouragement or desperation, the problems in front of us can feel permanent. A failed crop. A lost contract. A stack of bills. A broken relationship. A diagnosis. A bad year that feels like it will never end. It is not.
The truth is, most problems are temporary, even when they do not feel that way in the moment.
Please do not make a permanent decision because of a temporary problem.
The world is better with you in it. Your family is better with you here. Your friends, your community, your church, your farm and the people who love you are better with you in their lives.
Those dark moments can come late at night, in the cab of a truck, in the barn, in the field or in the quiet of a house after everyone else has gone to bed. They can come when the weather will not cooperate, when the markets turn, when the banker calls, when the work piles up or when the weight of expectations becomes too much.
That is why each of us needs to find a way through those moments before they consume us.
Pray. Breathe. Call someone. Text someone. Step outside. Take a walk. Tell a spouse, friend, pastor, doctor or counselor the truth: “I am not OK right now.”
At night, I often pray for spoken and unspoken needs. That phrase matters because we never truly know what another person is carrying inside. A man can look fine at the feed store, at church, at the ballgame or across the fence and still be fighting a battle no one else can see.
Social media can make that loneliness worse. We compare everyone else’s highlights to our hardest days. We see another family’s vacation, another farm’s good crop, another person’s success and forget that we are only seeing a small, polished piece of the story.
Too many people hide behind phone screens instead of facing reality. Too many men suffer quietly because they think they are the only ones struggling.
They are not.
If you are struggling, please do not suffer in silence. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 right away. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free, confidential support from trained counselors 24 hours a day. The Farm State of Mind program, offered by the American Farm Bureau Federation, is another platform with a list of available resources. Please check it out at www.FarmStateofMind.org
And if you are not in crisis but know you are not in a good place, reach out to someone today. Do not wait until things get worse. Do not convince yourself that nobody wants to hear it. The people who love you would rather take your call in the middle of the night than lose you forever.
If you are doing well, look around for someone who may not be. Call the friend you have not heard from. Stop by the neighbor’s place. Ask the young farmer how he is handling the pressure. Check on the older man who always says he is fine.
We need to make it normal to check in, normal to speak honestly and normal to get help.
Nothing is as good as it seems. Nothing is as bad as you think.
Hold on. Speak up. Check in. Keep going.
This world is better with you in it.
Garrett Hawkins is president of the Missouri Farm Bureau.